Surviving LDR

My husband and I have been on a long distance relationship since 2008.  Summer of said year, I went home, together with our kids, to my old and ailing parents.  He understood perfectly that there was no one else to care for them but me. It wasn’t practical for him to come with us so I left him there, living alternately between a small staff room in the police station where he is assigned, and our house.  To say it was the biggest decision and sacrifice we had to make is an understatement.

 It was so difficult at first. We missed each other terribly. Sometimes we won’t see each other for a month.  I used to cry long into the night, wishing he was beside me and feeling his warmth and the security of his arms around me.   But my days soon got so busy caring for my parents and the girls, who were at that time, still in elementary school.   We lived on daily phone calls, with me whining and wailing every time how much I miss him.  There were times when I felt so alone dealing with so many things all by myself.  But he would always quietly encourage me to hold on and think of the greater purpose of our sacrifice.

When both my parents passed away, we considered it was high time to go back and live with him. But by then I already had a job and our eldest daughter was about to attend college.  She was planning to study library science and this course is not available there.  Also, the college where I work provides free tuition for employees’ children and it seemed such a good opportunity to miss, especially that fees in private schools are expensive.  For their part, the girls vehemently refused to go back and leave their friends here.  So, here we are, still living apart, albeit for different reasons.

I guess we both got used to the situation in the long run.  What I’m thankful for though, is that our relationship did not suffer much.  Oh yes there were times I feared that he’d change, or that he’d be unfaithful.  And I lament that I wasn’t able to take care of him the way I wanted to, that I wasn’t there for him all those times he needed me, or when I needed him.  And I feel sad the girls are growing up without the constant presence of their father.  But we found our way through all the fears and doubts and longing, and held on.  Someday, I don’t know when, we will be together, like, everyday, again.  I am so looking forward to that day, so I can tell him how much I missed him.

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