Ghost of a Birthday Past

After much anticipation, our plan to spend my birthday in Camiguin finally pushed through. The kids woke up at three a.m., obviously unable to contain their excitement. By ten o’clock, we were already stepping out of the ferry boat looking for a ride to my husband’s family home in Sagay. Needless to say, the times spent at the beach, the pool, sightseeing and boating were gloriously happy and intensely satisfying ones.

This time together was very important to us considering that we’ve been living apart this past year. To say that it has been difficult is an understatement. It seems so easy to say now that everything’s water under the bridge, but the storm that wracked our marriage had been a very bad one indeed. I am very grateful though, for my husband’s generosity in giving me this much-needed space; being preoccupied with my children’s diurnal needs, running the house and worrying over countless other minute concerns of the day, as well as taking care of ailing parents [not to mention blogging and chatting with far-away but much-loved friends and relatives] have given me little time to dwell on past misery. Moving on is not as simple as others make it sound. True, it is a process; yet, it demands so much from you–dogged determination, sobriety, objectivity. I wouldn’t be surprised if I turn a little bit cynical or jaded if only to protect my heart. But then I also have begun to look at my experience in a whole new light, concluding that it happened for a good reason, that it helped me grow a little, that security is an illusion, that happiness is a gift, that forgiveness is freedom…. And most importantly, that deus ex machina is real.

Yes, I have turned a year older. And I hope a little wiser, a little better, and a lot more human.

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